Chapter 88 of A New Redheaded Cheerleader - Book 1

Chapter 88

Back at Cheaha Mountain in northern Alabama, Doofenshmirtz was sitting on a chair in his Pothole-Maker-inator, laughing while Agent P was trapped.

"So you're probably wondering what this machine does!" Heinz sneered, "As the name implies, the Pothole-Maker-inator does...well...make potholes after all. But that's not the point!"

"The point is that I intend to aim this baby at a building with windows, Perry the Platypus! But not just any window! Oh no! I intend to aim at the 19th floor of the Danville Office Complex!"

Agent P was still not amused, as Doofenshmirtz dropped his smile.

"Oh, you're still not amused, Perry the Platypus? I haven't even gotten to the good part yet! As the beam from the Pothole-maker-inator bounces off the 19th floor of the Danville Office Complex, it will head straight toward a road along the parade route! And not just any road! It's a road right next to a giant 150-foot pile of horse manure!"

Doofenshmirtz then took a doll of Roger out. He got off the chair from his Pothole-maker-inator and made a giant pile of mud to simulate the manure.

Agent P smirked at his nemesis, holding the Roger doll.

"Oh don't judge me, Perry the Platypus! I have standards! I only intend to dirty up the doll, that's all!"

Agent P rolled his eyes as Doofenshmirtz went on.

"When Roger's float hits that pothole that I created, he will fling from the parade float and..." He then stuck the Roger doll into the mud. "...BAM! He will be covered in horse dump and the voters will then avoid him like the plague! And I can finally rule the entire Tri-State Area!"

He laughed loudly and then quipped, "Does this doll come in tumble dry?"

_

(At the Flynn-Fletcher house, 12:15pm)

"Okay, gang!" Phineas exclaimed to the rest of the group, "We need to find some old sitting lawnmowers that people don't use anymore, but are still operational, and trick them out."

He looked at Buford and Baljeet "Okay, Buford and Baljeet, you take the northern section of the street. Me, Isabella, and Ferb will take the southern section of Maple! We'll meet back here at the house at 1pm sharp!"

"So do we have to bring a specific model riding lawnmower, Dinner-Bell, or it doesn't matter..."

"Doesn't matter to me, Buford. As long as each of us has his or her own riding mower, we'll be good for the race!" Phineas replied.

The two groups then went their ways: Buford and Baljeet to the north and Isabella, Phineas and Ferb to the south.

The first house Phineas came to was the Garcia-Shapiro house. Phineas knocked on the door.

Mrs. Vivian opened the door and said, "Hola, Phineas, Ferb, and Isa! What can I do for you today?"

"I was wondering if you still have your old riding lawnmower, Mom." Isabella said.

"Of course, Isa!" Vivian replied with a wide grin, "It's out in the back!"

"Thanks, Mom!" Isabella courteously replied to her mom.

(The DuBois house)

Mr. DuBois came to the front door on the 2600 block of Maple Drive. His blue eyes looked saw and saw Buford and Baljeet.

"Why, hey there, y'all, you young'uns, what can I do for y'all today?" Mr. DuBois asked

"Do you have any old riding lawnmowers that we can use?" Buford asked.

"Why sure we do! We have two of 'em!" Mr. DuBois replied, "I've been wantin' to use them blades as wind-chimes!"

"Buford, how are we going to get to get both riding lawnmowers from Mr. DuBois house back to Phineas' house?" Baljeet asked.

"Oh..." Buford smirked, "I know how!"

Baljeet gulped of what was to come next.

(10 minutes later)

Buford was driving his riding lawnmower down the street. Attached to a rope behind Buford's lawnmower was Baljeet's riding lawnmower. Baljeet was also given a wedgie before sitting on the riding seat.

"This is not fun, Buford!" he whined.

"Oh, it is!" Buford snarked.

_

(1:00pm)

At the Senors' Island, Senior strolled around the hangar as the henchmen got into the helicopters.

"Ah, good, everything is going well for Operation Gold Storm! The henchmen are all in their vehicles!"

Junior came in with his usual outfit, rubbing his head.

"Ah, Junior, you're just in time for the..."

"Look, Father, I make the doors go woosh!" Junior exclaimed with childlike delight going back and forth between the metallic sliding doors.

Senior raised his voice, "Junior! This is no time for games!"

Junior stopped jumping, and paid attention to his father.

"Anyways, what I was about to say, my son, is that the Gold Magnet vehicle that we will be riding in is ready for takeoff! It's already got enough gas in the take to take us to Fort Knox...and a few other surprises too!" Senior snickered.

Junior looked at the massive size of the vehicle and commented, "Could we get another one like this, Father? I wonder if I could be stripping the gold parts so..."

Senior groaned and then grabbed Junior's shirt by the collar so that he could bring his son to eye level.

"Remember, Junior...ix-nay on the usic-may for the duration of the mission!"

Junior, remembering the agreement they had last night, nodded his head out of fear and gulped.

Senior's wide evil grin returned.

"Thank you! Anyways, let's get to the drivers seat...shall we?!"

Junior sighed, "Fine...Father..."

Both the Senors got onto the lift. Senior pressed a button that made the lift go up to the door that led to driver's seat of the giant magnet vehicle. Senior opened the door as the both of them got in.

Senior flipped some of the switches as the machine hummed to life. He was at the helm of the controls. The doors to the hangar opened up above them. The magnet vehicle's boosters launched up into the air, past the hangar doors and into the sky, the ocean extending as far as the eye can see. The twenty choppers with two henchmen each also went up in the air. The side boosters of the magnet vehicle then converted into the rear boosters as they took off from the island.

"And...we have takeoff!"

The magnet vehicle and the helicopters all headed westward for the three-hour trip to Fort Knox.

Junior groaned, for he was without his music to listen to.

"Oh, Father, I am most completely bored without my tunes to listen to..."

"Oh...you look bored, Junior!" Senior smiled, "Mind if I turn on the radio?"

"Oh please do, Father! I do not want to be subjected to any more dullness..."

"Even...public radio?" Senior chuckled as he turned on a public radio station.

This is Mike R. Phone on 'Looking At the Process of Becoming A Pencil', a three-hour miniseries of how a pencil makes its journey from a tree trunk to a writing utensil that everyone uses to write with. But first...it's this summer's Pledge Week, where we need your contributions...

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Junior screamed and curled in a ball. "Not public radio! Anything but public radio!"

Senior muttered, grabbing a tranquilizer syringe from the glove compartment. It was half-way filled with a blue liquid. "I cannot stand by and watch your girlish screaming for the next three hours! Luckily, I have this for such emergencies!" He inserted the syringe into his son's arm.

The blue liquid entered into Junior's bloodstream. The girlish screams emitted from Junior began to subside.

"What is this, Father, why am I...so...sleepy..."

He began to snore very deeply.

"That was close!" Senior said, "And that's not the only positive...side-effects that it has..."



_

The group of good Middleton cheerleaders, plus Candace, entered into the Danville Bueno Nacho.

"Let's see, what are we going to eat, girls?" Kim asked, looking at the menu.

"Hmm...looks like I'll have the side salad!" Bonnie replied. "With Italian!"

"Same for me!" Jessica said. "With thousand island dressing on the side."

"I'll have a taco salad for myself." Hope said, deciding her lunch. "No dressing for me, though! Gotta cut some unnecessary calories!"

"Same as Hope!" Caitlin said.

"Two Nacos and a side salad for myself!" Tara replied.

"Nachos...cheese!" Rufus exclaimed, extending his small pink paws forward.

"Okay...so that's four orders down, and since I'm getting a taco salad also, that leaves Candace..." Kim said, turning around to Candace.

Candace looked up and scanned the menu.

"Let's see...trying to order..."

"Come on, Candace, we don't have all day long!" Kim sneered.

"Will you just hold your horses, Kim? I'm trying to see which products don't have cheese in them!" Candace snapped.

"And why can't you have cheese?" Kim countered.

"Because, I am allergic to dairy products...and parsnips too!" Candace explained. "I'll just go with the side salad...no dressing! I'll just be Ms. Bland..."

Kim grunted, "Fine...just lemme get to the counter..."

As it so happens, they were the next people in line.

The manager was wearing glasses, and had brown hair that was a bit longer than Ned's in a mullet, and wore a blue manager's suit as opposed to Ned's orange, but has the same color clip-on-tie.

He even spoke to the girls in the same nasal tone, "Hello, this is the Bueno Nacho #852 in Danville, my name is Fred, may I take your order?"

"Let me guess..." Kim smirked, "Are you related to Ned?"

"Yes, yes I am. I'm his half-brother!" came the reply from Fred, "So are you going to order or what?"

"Of course..." came the reply from Kim, "I'll have four side salads, one Italian, one Thousand-Island, two with no dressing, two orders of Nacos, two taco salads with no dressing, and two orders of nachos, extra cheese, for Rufus! Three teas, two sweet, one unsweet, and three medium diet colas too..."

"Okay, plus tax, your total is going to come to $26.39." Fred said, announcing the amount. Kim gave him $27 dollars from her handbag and Fred gave her the difference, which was 61 cents.

"Your food will be ready in about 15 minutes." he announced to the girls.

"Looks like we'll be in a booth." Kim said, pointing to one of the nearby vacant booths in the center.

Kim, Candace, and Bonnie sat on one side of the booth, while Tara, Hope, and Jessica sat in the other. Caitlin grabbed one of the chairs and sat right in the middle of the table.

"So, any suggestions for a routine on the fifth for Candace to learn?" Kim asked to her fellow cheerleaders.

"I'd vote for her to learn some of the handstands!" Tara said, raising her hand.

"Oh, handstands will be a cinch for me!" Candace said, "I've been doing them since I was seven!"

Bonnie, Jessica, Hope, and Caitlin all raised their hands.

"So handstands it is!" Kim said in choosing the topic of the practice for the fifth of July.

Her cell phone began to ring from her handbag. Kim took it out and looked at the caller ID.

It was from home.

Quickly she picked it up.

K: Hello? Oh, hey Daddy!

Ja: Hiya, Kimberly!

K: Did you make it home?

Ja: We're just lucky that the Sloth arrived in one piece last night! Anyways, how is the cheerleading coming along?

K: Everything's fine, Dad, except that Candace's room got sabotaged by some pranksters last night.

Ja: Well, I do hope the proper authorities will arrest those hoodlums!

K: Agreed, Dad! Did you ground the Tweebs?

Ja: For a whole two days, Kimberly, and we've shut down their inventions as well.

K: Well, at least they won't be able to hack into my diary for a while...

Ja: Where's Ronald, by the way?

K: Practicing with the football team with some seven-on-seven drills.

Ja: Hope he doesn't get injured during a game...

K: Me too, Daddy! I would be worried as well!

Ja: Anyways, good luck for the rest of the day and I'll talk with you later on tonight! Me and your mother have a date tonight!

K: Okay, talk to you then!

Then, Candace heard her cell phone ring. She looked at the ID and shrieked with joy.

It was Jeremy on the other end. She immediately answered it without question.

C: Hello? Oh, hi, Jeremy!

Je: Hey, Candace! Um, listen, the seven-on-seven drills are over with and we're going out for lunch.

C: Who are you with?

Je: Ron, Coltrane, and Monty are coming along. Ron wanted to go past the Danville Bueno Nacho location for his lunch and...

C: (blushes) Ohmigosh! Ohmigosh!Ohmi...oh, um, that's good, Jeremy!

Je: I'll come by and swing on over in a few minutes.

C: Okay...bye, Jeremy!

Candace squealed for joy! "Oh yes! Jeremy's gonna come here! And right before our date too!"

"From what I've read from a study in Teen Relationships magazine..." Tara said, quoting from one of her favorite magazines. "...relationships tend to last 75% longer if the boyfriend calls up the girlfriend to tell her that he loves her before a date!"

"Me and Jeremy are going to be together, Tara!" Candace sighed, "I can just see that look in his eyes! Love will conquer all in the end!"

"What are you and Jeremy going to do after the movie, Candace?" Jessica asked.

"We're going to Danville Lake! They always have an annual fireworks show at around 11 tonight and they allow people, in bathing suits of course, to go in the lake, relax, and watch the fireworks from there! Me and Jeremy will be holding hands together as we share a kiss underneath the romantic display!" Candace explained the rituals of the 40th Annual Late-Night Fireworks Display.

After Kim ended the call with her dad and Candace ended her call with Jeremy and the rituals of their date, she questioned Kim on another matter, "And, speaking of pranksters, have you found out whose fingerprints were on that stink bottle?"

"Oh right! Almost forgot about that!" Kim gasped. She put her phone back in her handbag and took out her Kimmunicator.

Wade came on-screen.

"Hey, Kim, I see that you're about to chow down on some goodies!"

Kim giggled a little "Oh, Wade, we're just waiting for our food to come to the table!" However, the smile faded from her face as she got to more serious matters.

"Did you find any fingerprints on the stink bottle I gave you this morning from Candace's room? I need to find those mischief-makers before they strike again!"

"Sorry, Kim!" Wade said with a bit of disappointment, "The pranksters, whoever they are, did their homework early. I was able to find some smudges on the bottle, but judging from the fibers I found, they wore gloves."

"Aw man..." Kim uttered, "Isn't there some other way you can trace the bottle?"

"The only way that I can trace the bottle is through the ISBN code, Kim!" Wade groaned, "It's going to take me at least a good couple of hours before I can trace it to where it came from!"

Kim sighed, "Okay, Wade, keep me posted!" She turned off the Kimmunicator and set it on the table.

Candace, on the other hand, was fixated on the choice of outfit that Kim was wearing, specifically her one-strap unhooked overalls.

Perfect! That's the outfit I'm gonna wear on my date with Jeremy tonight!

"Um...Candace?" Kim asked uncomfortably, "What are you looking at?"

Candace darted her eyes back and forth and nervously "Um...nothing, Kim! Honest!"

"Whatever..." Kim scoffed before getting to the matter at hand, "Listen, Wade needs to run a scan on that ISBN code on the bottle!"

"ISBN code? What kind of geeky gibberish is that?" Candace asked, confused a bit.

Kim groaned, "It's the thing with bars that one scans with! Like in a grocery store?!"

"Ohhh..." Candace understood, "That's what you meant! So why can't he find any fingerprints?"

"Because..." Kim explained, "...the perpetrators must've worn gloves at the time they bought those bottles."

"Can't your tech dude analyze any of the other stuff the pranksters used?" Candace asked impatiently.

"If there's still some left after you and Stacy cleaned up your room, then yes!" Kim said, implying a chance that there was still some evidence left. "The sooner we find him or her who performed this pranks and throw then in jail, the better..."

Tara interrupted the conversation and said, "I think I saw something?"

Candace's heart jumped a beat, "You did, Tara? What is it?"

Kim added in, "What did you see?"

"While I was getting ready for the cheer practifce, I saw you and Stacy cleaning up the pie mess from that mechanism, disassemble it, and putting it in the attic." Tara replied, recalling the events from earlier in the morning.

"Then that's where we're going to go...after we eat lunch of course!" Candace grinned.