Chapter 70 of A New Redheaded Cheerleader

Chapter 70

At the smaller table where Monique, Bonnie, and Tara were at, they witnessed Kim's reaction to Candace's question of her not being captain of the squad.

Tara gasped and whispered into Bonnie's ear, "Did you see that?"

Bonnie whispered back into Tara's ear, "Yeah, I did...that...wasn't a good topic to mention around Kim..."

Monique then talked softly into Bonnie's ear, "Why are we whispering like this, girl?"

Bonnie explained silently, "Because, Kim vowed to share what happened that day only between the three of us and Ron! I do not think it is a very good idea to bring this around Candace!"

"Are you sure?" Tara whispered.

Monique replied quietly, "Yeah, girl, Candace's totally unpredictable! There's no way what's going to happen next with her..."
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Kim came downstairs, refreshed and renewed wih vigor.

"So...what was the issue?" Linda asked from the kitchen.

"Oh...um...it was nothing, Ms. Flynn-Fletcher!" Kim giggled, "Just a little something in my contacts!"

Linda smiled, "Ah...I understand! Dirt and moisture in contacts can be a problem!"

"Yeah, they can be, but they're just no big!" Kim said as she sat back down at the main table. The rest of the guests resumed eating what was left of the catfish.

____________________________________________________________________________

(15 minutes later)

"Oh man..." Kim groaned, slouching on the chair. "That...was good catfish!"

"I don't think I can take in any more pieces, KP..." Ron said, holding his stomach.

He then turned to Rufus "What about you, little guy?"

Rufus did a little somersault on the table and squeaked, "Good!" All he had were two hushpuppies.

"So full..." Stacy moaned. "All this eating is making me think about shopping!"

Candace gasped, "The shopping! I almost forgot! I so need those new outfits, Mom!"

"Really?" Linda exclaimed, "I thought you always looked good in the red top/white dress combo!"

"Not in this squad, Mom!" Candace replied, "These girls go to all the football games in limousines...read my lips...lim..ou...sines!"

"So, in other words..." Linda concluded, "they...are a necessity?"

Candace nodded her head.

Monique added in, "Not only that, Mrs. Flynn...but also remember that the Mad Dog squad is the best in the entire United States, so they are pretty particular in which fashion to wear when going to the games."

"Of course that is before we all get dressed in our cheer uniforms and cheer on our Mad Dogs to victory!" Kim said, taking a sip of milk.

"So, please, Mom! Please, can you take me to the mall so that I could choose the outfits?" Candace pleased, begging on her knees.

Linda stammered, not knowing what to do "I...don't know about this..."

Kim decided a more methodical approach to the sitch that appeared before her. She stood up right next to Linda and gave her the most dangerous weapon known to Man...the infamous Puppy-Dog Pout.

"Please? Can you do this one shopping trip tonight for your sweet daughter?" Kim asked, making those sad eyes at Linda.

Candace observed what Kim was doing and began mimicing the same pout. Her sad blue eye pupils grew bigger and tears began to fall from her eyes.

Linda hesitated for a moment before replying with a smile, "Okay, dear, I'll go along with you! The mall doesn't even close till 11:30!"

"Yes!" Candace shouted in triumph, pumping her fist. "Lemme get my handbag!" She ran upstairs to get the handbag she bought a couple weeks ago.

"I'm already ready!" Kim exclaimed, already grabbing her purse with excitement.

"But who's going to help choose the outfits?" Linda asked.

Kim snickered, "I think you already have a fashionista expert in my good friend, Monique!"

"Girl, fashion is so what I live for!" Monique smiled.

"Could I bring Stace along?" Candace asked, rushing downstairs with her handbag.

"It's fine by me!" Linda agreed. "So that'll make it four girls coming along for the ride?"

"Um...hello, very important person right here, KP!" Ron yelled.

"Add in one boy and one mole-rat, Mrs. Flynn..." Kim added.

"Done and done!" Linda smiled.
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She then called to Lawrence, whom was upstairs, "Okay, Lawrence, I'm going with the girls and Ron to a late-night shopping trip! Can you watch the boys?"

"Sure can, luv!" came the reply from Lawrence.

Monique looked at both Bonnie and Tara, whom had just finished up the catfish platter. "But what about them, Kim?"

Tara stood up, took her plate, and said, "Um...since we're going to be here for, I guess, a week, I was thinking that me and Bonnie could go to Middleton to pick up a few toiletries and several changes of clothes from our houses."

"No problem, Tara! Sure, it'll maybe take us a few days, but she'll become a cheerleader in no time..." Kim smiled before hearing Candace interrupt her.

"And I'm going to be with my Jeremy, a football star!"

"Also, Kim...could I borrow your house key?" Tara then asked. "I'll use one of my suitcases to get a few of you clothes.

"Of course, Tara!" Kim replied before taking out the house key from her designer jeans. "I'll come back for my jewelry and perfumes!"

"Thanks, Kim!" Tara complimented, putting the key in her purse.

"Please and thank you!" came the reply from Kim.

"Come on, Bonnie, let's get those supplies!" Tara proclaimed.

"I've got my driver's license ready to go!" Bonnie exclaimed, getting the keys to her car.

Both of the girls went out of the door and went to Bonnie's car. Bonnie started up the car with Tara in the passenger seat as they drove out to Middleton.
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"So, ready for the shopping trip, girls...and Ron?" Linda asked, grabbing the keys to her SUV.

Candace, Kim, Stacy, and Monique all raised their hands.

"Boo-yah! I'm so ready, Mrs. Flynn!" Ron shouted, pumping his fist in the air.

"Ron?! I didn't know you were interested in shopping!" Linda giggled.

"No, Mrs. Flynn, I learned on their website this morning that Bueno Nacho Express opened in the Googolplex Mall!" Ron exclaimed. As it turns out, he did browse the web for any new 'grand openings' of any Bueno Nacho in the world through their main website earlier before the Possibles picked him up this morning.

"It's his thing to go on that website at least 40 times a day..." Kim whispered in her ear.

"Ohh...I see..." Linda understood.

Rufus came up to his owner's shoulder with a little sombrero on his head.

"Viva...Naco!" he squeaked.

"He is sooo cute!" Linda squealed, patting him on the head.

"Yeah...yeah...yeah...cute!" Candace sarcastically replied, having been scared once of his presence, "Now can we get to the mall? My glamorous outfits await me!"

"Fine, just hold your horses, Candace..." Linda groaned before hearing something comparable to a shotgun blast.

"What...was...that?!" Kim questioned, paralyzed in fear.

"What's going on?" Candace wondered.

Ron looked outside the door and gasped, "Uh...KP? Is that...your parents!"

Kim panted heavily, and peered out the door and dropped her jaw in shock.

"What...the..." she uttered, trying to take in the horrifying scene before her.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The crippled Sloth came slowly crawling on the street. The entire roof of the car was gone and the body was completely covered in dents from the frenzied robot attack at Larry's house. Its dragging muffler was continuing to belch out black smoke. The hubcaps on all its wheels were gone. A pedestrian crossing was wrapped around its front grille. The passenger door was gone. One of its headlights was completely ripped off. Both of its side mirrors, as well as its front fender were gone. The trunk door continued to pop open.

Kim was horrified at the awful condition that the car was in. Even people biking on the sidewalks were going faster than the Sloth.

The engine was producing a horrible grating sound and the engine backfire sounded like a gun going off.

"Hey...it's Kimmie-cub!" James exclaimed, waving to his daughter.

Kim covered her face with her hands, and closed her eyes as tight as she could and repeated to herself.

"Please tell me I'm seeing things...please tell me I'm seeing things..."

"Girl...you're not seeing things..." Monique stuttered.

"I'm trying not to see things!" Ron shouted, covering his eyes. Rufus held his paws over his beady eyes.

"Yoo-hoo...Kimberly..." Ann shouted out loud.

"Oh look, it's your parents, Kim!" Linda shouted with joy.

But Kim wasn't amused the slightest, "And the humiliation party will commence in three...two...one..."

James parked the poor Sloth along the side and turned off the engine.

He closed the door and...

Kim could not believe her eyes and gave a loud horrified gasp!

Her father was in his boxers, tattered pants cut in half around his ankes, still with the fake bling jewelry around his neck and chest, and his wifebeater shirt was gone too. Of course, she's gotten used to the sight of Ron losing his pants all the time, but her father? That...was something new to her.

"Well, Kimmie-cub! It took us three hours but we finally made it!" James smiled.

Kim scoffed in disbelief, "Wait...it took you three and a half hours just to drive 8 miles from Middleton to Danville?"

Both Ann and James nodded.

"Even a horse and buggy would drive faster than that piece of scrap metal!" Kim griped.

Ann got out next, still in the one-strap unhooked overalls look.

"Hey, Kimberly, how did the cheerleading go?" Ann asked.

"Uh...uh...uh..." Kim stuttered, speechless at the condition of her dad's clothing...or what was left of it.

"I'd take it that she hasn't begun yet..." Ann deducted.

"Dad...what...happened to you?!" she exclaimed, her left eye twitching.

"Let's just say the rap skit where we're all supposed to 'get down' about the dangers of drunk driving didn't go so well, Kimmie-cub..." James blushed with embarrassment.

"But what happened to your pants?!" Kim shouted, poiniting to the obvious fact that James' pants were completely destroyed and ripped apart.

James sighed and explained, "It all began not too long ago..."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

(35 minutes ago)

"James..." Ann complained, "I still feel that we're going to make complete fools of ourselves in front of our Kimmy..."

"Oh please, de-e-e-e-e-ar..." James smirked before feeling the shaking of the entire body of the car. "I bet Ki-m-m-m-m-ie Cub would be glad to see us!"

"Indeed so..." Ann smiled nervously, continuing to adjust the sole shoulder strap holding up her overalls.

Suddenly, a stray cat climbed about the slow-moving vehicle.

"Aww...look at the little guy..." James smiled as he tried to pet the cat.

The cat, though, had other plans.

"Um...James?" Ann wondered with a lot of worry. "I don't like the looks of that cat!"

"C'mon, Ann...one little stray cat won't hurt..."

Then, the cat used its sharp claws to cut through what was left of his fallen trousers. Its claws followed a straight path to cut through the middle part of his pants, effectively splitting them in two. The stray cat zipped out of the vehicle as fast as it came in.

"That's...not a good sign..." James groaned.

"Don't jinx us, James..." Ann muttered to herself.

A sudden gust of wind blew off the battered and weakened roof of the Sloth as if it were flypaper. His shirt was suddenly ripped off of his body as it flew off into a nearby tree.

"I just had to ask..." Ann grumbled.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

In the back seat, the Tweebs felt the summer breeze blowing right in front of them. They also set their sick and twisted plan of humiliating their big sister to the next phase.

"Okay, Larry, just do what we say..." Tim whispered in Larry's left ear.

"...and you can have whatever robot you desire from our room!" Jim whispered in the right ear.

"So...what do you want me to do?" Larry asked. He looked down, still in his underwear and pink tutu.

Jim gave Larry a script and replied, "Just follow everything according to the...

"...letter in the script!" Tim finished it off with an evil grin.

Two of them snuck out of the dilapidated car.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"But it's all bon-diggety good because I'm gonna be diggin' it old school, off the sheezy, yo!" James replied, trying to act cool, but only making more of a fool out of himself.

"Great..." Kim muttered, "My dad is trying to act cool in his underwear...the Sloth is almost destroyed...what could be worse?"

"James...please don't humiliate yourself any further..." Ann begged.

Then, the sound of rap music began to fill the background.

"Oh, just perfect!" Kim ranted, "Just come on... do your routine rap thing...let's get it overwith..."

"Um, Kimmie-cub?"

"What is it, Dad?" Kim moaned.

"We aren't going to rap in front of you anyways! And...we weren't the ones who turned on the radio!" James replied, turning his head around and gasping in fright. Likewise, his wife turned around and was in shock too.

Kim, at first, thought that she was in the clear, but then paused, "Well that a relie...Wait...if you didn't turn on the rap music, then...who did?!"

She turned her head in the same direction of her parents and was crestfallen with fear on her face.

And there it was...the sight she dreaded the most: her trouble-making brothers with her nerdy cousin in a tutu with a boombox blaring backgroup rap music.

"Jim and Tim Possible!" Ann snapped, "What is the meaning of this?!"

"This...is not going to end well..." Kim moaned, covering her face in shame.

A look of dread came across her face with her brothers armed with microphones.

Jim: Hello all you ladies...

Tim: ...and gentlemen!

Jim: Boys and girls

Tim: ...of all ages!

Jim: May we present to you...

Tim: ...the amazing and greatest rapper...

Jim: ...of the Possible family...

Jim & Tim: Larry!

(Larry appears on the front lawn and begins to rap in his tutu)

Ron screams: "My eyes! My beautiful brown eyes! (He covers them with his hands.)

(Larry)

Greetings cousin of mine

I'm here to rap with you anytime.

I've got my video games

But some of 'em aren't quite lame

I played 'Fortress' for two straight days.

I go outside and dress as Oltar and roleplay

Breakdown!

*dances horribly in the tutu*
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Oh..mi gosh... this is sooo humiliating!" Candace snickered, "Even more humiliating than that pharmacist guy with his head stuck in the toilet!" She whipped out her pink phone and started to record the sight of Kim's cousin rapping in a tutu.

"So who are you gonna send it to?" Stacy asked.

Candace rambled on, "Oh, I plan to send it to Jeremy and to Jenny, too!"

Monique caught sight of what Candace was doing and tried to stop, "Girl, stop what you're doing right this moment!"

"And why, Monique?" Candace scoffed. "It's such a funny scene with someone trying to horribly rap wearing only a tutu!"

"Candace, I got two words for you: Veruca Salt!" Monique warned.

"I wouldn't send that video of KP getting humiliated if I were you..." Ron agreed.

Candace suddenly grew alert, "Veruca?! Where?! I would like to punch that girl in the face!" She was throwing punches in the air before landing on her behind on the summer grass.

"Whoa...whoa...whoa..." Linda exclaimed, restraining her daughter, "Violence only produces more violence! You should know better, Candace!"

"But she's gonna..."

"Girl, just let me get to what I was going to say!" Monique interfered.

Candace's mouth fell silent.

Monique took a deep breath and explained, "If Veruca or any of her girls gets a hand on your vid, they're going to humiliate her, BIG TIME!"

"Don't forget what they did to the Middleton Mad Dog mascot! They trashed it and made it into a monstrosity!" Ron yelled, bringing up the incident almost 5 months ago.

"Well..." Candace chuckled, "...that's not scary!"

"How about the time when she stole the toy from that six-year old kid, crushed it right in front of him, and licked his tears?" Monique said, pointing to another shocking thing about her. "I tell you, Veruca's girls always cause trouble, no matter wherever they go!"

"Okay that's a little...disturbing..." Candace admitted.

Candace looked at the horrified Kim, then at Larry in the tutu, and then back again at her phone.

"I think you should follow Monique's advice, Candace!" Linda suggested.

She sighed a little and said, "Fine... " and went on to delete the footage from her phone.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"This is undeniably the worst...day...of...my...life..." Kim moaned, not wishing to look at her cousin's degrading moves. "I am now the mayor of Humiliation Nation and the Tweebs are part of the city council!"

She took a deep breath and said, "I'm so glad that no one is recording this.."

"Um...speak for yourself, girl..." Monique gasped, pointing at the twins.

Kim's eyes widened at the sight of the Tweebs recording every single second of her humiliation.

Jim snickered, aiming the video camera at their sister, "Smile for the camera, big sis!"

"You...little...fiends!" she growled at them with a look of rage, and began to gave chase.

"Uh-oh, this cannot..." Jim trembled in fear.

Tim shuddered, "...be good!"

"Don't lose the video camera!" Jim instructed, tossing the video camera to Tim.

Tim caught it replied. "Right with you, bro!"

They went into the Flynn-Fletcher backyard with the camcorder in hand and with Kim trailing behind them.

Ann gasped, "I knew the boys were up to no good!"

Kim yelled, "Oh Mom! It would be nice for you to help me here!"

"No problem, Kim! Just as soon as I buckle up the strap of my overalls!" She did buckle the overalls strap that was previously undone back up properly as she too gave chase in the backyard.

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"Nyah-nyah! You can't catch us, we have..." Jim taunted.

Tim smirked, "...the video evidence!"

Kim screamed as loud as she could, "You're not getting away with this, Tweebs!"

"We're going to..." Jim began before Tim finished, "...send it on the Internet!"

Ann finally appeared at the backyard gate, her overalls buckled up properly.

"Mom! A little help here woud be nice!" Kim insisted.

"Kimberly, you'll take Tim, while I'll take Jim!"

The Tweebs both split up, and Ann began to chase Jim while Kim was chasing Tim, whom had the camera.

"Come back here, you freak!"

Candace and the others came to the backyard, opening the gate.

"So who am I supposed to root for?"

"Duh!" Monique exclaimed, rolling her eyes, "Kim and Mrs. Possible! They're the ones trying to catch those little Frankensteins!"

"You've babysat them before?" Candace asked.

"Yeah, and let's just say that my parents had to buy a lot of new appliances after what those two monsters did!" Monique groaned, folding her arms.

"Not to mention last Christmas..." Ron added.

"Oh yeah, I mean, it was so bad that we spent Christmas by the candlelight!" Monique complained.

"So what you're saying is that they're just about as bad as Phineas and Ferb?"

"Well...I couldn't make a comparison..."

Before Monique continued, Candace extended her leg forward.

Tim looked behind at his sister, still taunting her and still holding the video camera, "What's the matter, big sis? Too slow to catch me?"

He was not looking where he was going, for he felt something fleshy on his leg and tripped over it.

"Yoink!" Candace grinned, snatching the video camera from his hands.

"Hey, what..." Tim exclaimed, before looking around. "Hey, where did the video camera go?"

"Looking for this?" Candace smirked, holding the video camera and clutching it tightly.

"Give me that back!" Tim demanded.

"No way, no how, bucko!" Candace laughed.

Tim snickered, "Not if my other brother has something to say about it! Jim...Jim?"

"Can't...go...on...sugar...crash..." Jim complained. He was fatigued after eating so much sugar for the day and he fell onto the grass next to his brother.

"I think you've underestimated the Queen of Busting, Candace G. Flynn!" Candace smirked.

"That's the last time I'll give the boys sugary cereal..." Ann grinned to Kim.

"I think they should eat a bit more unflavored oatmeal!" Kim said, then glared at her brothers.

Ann gave a death glare that would frighten a black grizzly bear at her sons.

"You humiliated me, your father, but most especially poor Larry, who had to be in a tutu all day long due to unfortunate circumstances!" Ann yelled in front of them.

The Tweebs held onto each other for their punishment.

"No inventions for you two for the next five days! And you will make sure that you will carry your weight around the house! You will have to do the laundry, clean the bathrooms and most especially your room! It looks like a pigsty!"

(cuts to a scene of Jim and Tim's room where the mess is everywhere and four pigs snorting on the bed)

"So where's the video camera?" Kim asked to Cadance.

"Here you go!" she squealed. She gave the camera to Kim but wasn't either paying attention or making eye contact with her.

Candace was solely concentrated on Ann punishing her sons.

A Chesire cat-grin came across her face as she imagined that Linda, in place of Ann, was punishing Phineas and Ferb, in place of the Tweebs, for one of their Big Ideas.

"Ohh...I can't wait for tomorrow!"

She rubbed her hands, continuing to plan to bust her brothers.